Everything In Me
by atideintheaffairs
Summary: Insomnia. Heartache. Sadness. All effects of that night. He left first. She pushed him to. She caused it, it was all on her. She pushed him to the point to walk out the door and leave everything he ever loved behind. But then again, he left her...Naley xx
1. Prologue

She rolled over in bed once again that night, once again that week, once again that month. Haley James once again was a victim of insomnia. Since that dreaded day she normally would try to work hard and wear herself out during the day so once her head hit the pillow she would be out cold. That way she would not wallow in thoughts and upset emotions. But once again her plans didn't work. Most nights they didn't. She tried not to let people know she was only getting three to four hours of sleep a night. Most did not question it, because even though it had nearly been a year since the worst day of Haley's life, they all understood why the Haley they knew and loved might never return. Because since that day Haley James became a different person. She had been hurt, badly, and she had hurt someone as well. Once again her thoughts invaded her mind as she rolled over and tried to get comfortable in bed, but knowing she would never be comfortable in her bed alone again. Haley groaned as she sat up in bed, flicked on the lights, and grabbed her notebook that sat bedside for nights like this.

* * *

Nathan Scott ran down the court basketball in hand, sweat dripping off of him, dunking the ball for the umpinth time that night. He had more or less given up on sleep since that dreaded day when his world stopped, and gotten used to living on three hours of it. Instead of sleep he spent most nights working out in the gym. He was an ass, and he knew it. He had hurt the person who mattered the most to him in life, and abandoned her. He didn't bother with making relationships with people, or having friends besides his agent, brother, and sister in law. Because without her in his life, nothing mattered. Too bad he realized that before it was too late to go back.

He looked over at his phone that sat on the bench, contemplating, wondering. Should he? Would it make matters worse? It had been a long time, too long. But would hearing her voice sooth him to sleep, even if it was only for a second. That was his favorite sound in the world. It had replaced his previous, the sound of a basketball hitting the wooden floor. Because no matter how he had acted, she would always come above basketball in his heart.

* * *

The brown eyed girl ran her hand through her short brown hair. It was closer to her natural hair color, unlike the dirty blond color it was previously. She dyed it in an attempt to move on. A change. A new Haley. But she soon found out, appearance isn't everything, and it helped nothing. She placed down her pen and looked over at her phone. She missed him. She missed him every damn day. She realized that too late, she realized too late that her musical career was tied to him. Without him she had nothing. And that was how it was.

People blamed it all on him, saying he left first and she had only left to move on, and she did too at first. She was angry. But after calming down she realized it was all her fault. She pushed him to that point. She made him go over the edge. She caused that night to happen. It was all on her. But then she thought, and remembered. He left her.

* * *

He left her. He was angry about it every day since. But in retrospect. If she hadn't caused him to freak out on her would he have gone? No. She pushed him to the point to say things he could never take back. She pushed him to the point to walk out the door and leave everything he ever loved behind. She pushed him.

* * *

They were both angry at each other. In a way they both hated each other because of that night. But they loved each other with their whole heart. They would never be the same again. But if by some chance they ran into each other again, neither would admit it. They were both stubborn people. It had been too long.

"Hello?"


	2. Chapter 1

**12 hours earlier**

Haley walked into Red Bedroom records to see a very pregnant Peyton sitting at her desk. "Peyton, go home I can handle this."

"No, I need to get this paperwork done."

"The doctor said take it easy. I can do that." She bargained throwing her purse on the chair.

"Paperwork isn't very strenuous Hales."

"No matter how much I yell are you you aren't going home are you?"

"Nope so stop trying."

Haley moved and took her seat across from Peyton.

"So Nathan called last night."

"I don't want to talk about him Peyton."

"Lucas said he..."

Haley cut her off. "Peyton stop. I am just trying to move on okay."

"And that's going well." She said sarcastically.

"What do you mean by that."

"What was the last song you recorded?" Haley stayed quiet. "Exactly, you write every night but never record. Not since he left. You're music was tied to him. I mean you went on a world tour for most artists that's their dream inspiration."

"I have just been taking it easy since you are pregnant."

"Sure" She said rolling her eyes. "Since I'm pregnant then go get Mia set up in the recording booth, imagine that one of my artists is recording."

* * *

Nathan was in the gym lifting weights when his agent Clay walked in. "Nate practice was over an hour ago, why are you here?"

"I have nothing better to do."

"Don't you have a life? Ya know outside of basketball."

"I did. I screwed that up, and now I'm focusing on basketball, that's all I have left."

"Ahh the Haley thing."

"Sure"

"You ever going to tell me about her man."

"Nope. It's none of your business."

"I can tell it's eating you up inside."

"It happened a while ago, it's over and done with, I haven't talked to her since. Actually I haven't talked to anyone but my brother since."

"What about your parents?"

"They were never there for me anyway. I emancipated myself when I was sixteen."

"I never knew that."

"Because I never told you. Like I said it's my private life. It's personal. It's private. And this conversation is over. Now leave or spot me."

* * *

Haley walked into her house and threw her keys on the front table. It was her dream home. It had four bedrooms, a porch, a huge kitchen, and a large closet. She had her own music room and all. But coming home to a large empty house every night wasn't her dream. It was nothing close to it. By this point in her life she imagined herself being married with possibly a baby on the way.

She sighed and poured herself a glass of wine that she would drink on her own before going to find where she left off in her book.

* * *

Nathan turning the light switch on as he walked into his theater room that had surround sound. He had two beers in hand. He never imagined at his age, after spending most his life crushed out on the same girl, he would be in his home alone with two beers, both of which for himself. He groaned and sat down on the couch. He was depressed that he would once again be watching a movie alone. No one to talk to about any of it.

* * *

_"What did you do today babe?" Haley called out from the kitchen, peaking her head around to see him watching basketball on the couch. **Typical.**_

_"Not much, Luke and I trained again for preseason but that was about it. What did you do?"_

_"I recorded a few songs"_

_"Really, when can I hear them?" He asked wrapping his arm around her as she sat on the couch._

_"Not yet, some of it was just background vocals and instruments so its not much of a song yet."_

_"Well I can't wait."_

_"Thanks baby" She said laying a kiss on his jawline. "Now what movie did you find us?" She asked getting herself comfortable, resting the popcorn on Nathan's lap and reaching for their beers."_

* * *

She rolled over in bed once again that night, once again that week, once again that month. Haley James once again was a victim of insomnia. Since that dreaded day she normally would try to work hard and wear herself out during the day so once her head hit the pillow she would be out cold. That way she would not wallow in thoughts and upset emotions. But once again her plans didn't work. Most nights they didn't. She tried not to let people know she was only getting three to four hours of sleep a night. Most did not question it, because even though it had nearly been a year since the worst day of Haley's life, they all understood why the Haley they knew and loved might never return. Because since that day Haley James became a different person. She had been hurt, badly, she had hurt someone as well. Once again her thoughts invaded her mind as she rolled over and tried to get comfortable in bed, but knowing she would never be comfortable in her bed alone again. Haley groaned as she sat up in bed, flicked on the lights, and grabbed her notebook that sat bedside for nights like this.

* * *

Nathan Scott ran down the court basketball in hand, sweat dripping off of him, dunking the ball for the umpteenth time that night. He had more or less given up on sleep since that dreaded day when his world stopped, and gotten used to living on three hours of it. Instead of sleep he spent most nights working out in the gym. He was an ass, and he knew it. He had hurt the person who mattered the most to him in life, and abandoned her. He didn't bother with making relationships with people, or having friends besides his agent, brother, and sister in law. Because without her in his life, nothing mattered. Too bad he realized that before it was too late to go back.

He looked over at his phone that sat on the bench, contemplating, wondering. Should he. Would it make matters worse. It had been a long time, too long. But would hearing her voice sooth him to sleep, even if it was only for a second. That was his favorite sound in the world. It had replaced his previous, the sound of a basketball hitting the wooden floor. Because no matter how he had acted, she would always come above basketball in his heart.

* * *

The brown eyes girl ran her hand through her short brown hair. It was closer to her natural hair color, unlike the dirty brown color it was previously. She died it in an attempt to move on. A change. A new Haley. But she soon found out, appearance isn't everything, and it helped nothing. She placed down her pen and looked over at her phone. She missed him. She missed him every damn day. She realized that too late, she realized too late that her musical career was tied to him. Without him she had nothing. And that was how it was.

People blamed it all on him, saying he left first and she had only left to move on, and she did too at first. She was angry. But after calming down she realized it was all her fault. She pushed him to that point. She made him go over the edge. She caused that night to happen. It was all on her. But then she thought, and remembered. He left her.

* * *

He left her. He was angry about it every day since. But in retrospect. If she hadn't caused him to freak out on her would he have gone. No. She pushed him to the point to say things he could never take back. She pushed him to the point to walk out the door and leave everything he ever loved behind. She pushed him.

* * *

They were both angry at each other. In a way they both hated each other because of that night. But they loved each other with their whole heart. They would never be the same again. But if by some chance they ran into each other again, neither would admit it. They were both stubborn people. It had been too long.

* * *

Nathan looked down at the ringing phone, hoping the name would read HALEY across it, and they could finally talk.

* * *

Haley jumped slightly at the sound of her cell phone as it rang. She reached over and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hales, it's Brooke. It's bad, really bad."

"Woah slow down Brooke what is?" Haley asked jumping out of bed. She threw on her sweatshirt over the tank top she was wearing, it was Nathan's of course. She never got rid of it. And if anyone asked, it was way too comfortable too. She ran down the stairs, threw on her flip flops and grabbed her keys all while Brooke talked.

"Something happened with Peyton. I don't know what she was doing but Lucas found her surrounded by blood and in preterm labor."

"Was it the preeclampsia?"

"I don't know. Lucas called 911 and there at the hospital now, I'm on my way."

"I will be there in five minutes."

"She's my best friend Hales."

"She is going to be okay."

"How?"

"Peyton is the strong, and she is going to be fine I promise." Haley tried to assure her even if she was just as scared.


	3. Chapter 2

"Brooke" Haley said running down the hall. "How is she?"

"Luke is in with the doctor now, they rushed her into surgery."

"And the baby?"

"They won't know until they have the c-section because she is preterm."

"I told her to go home, I told her she was going to overdo it, I should have made her go home." Haley said putting her hands to her face.

"Hey" Brooke said grabbing her attention "Don't blame yourself. It was no one's fault that Peyton developed this condition."

"Did you...did you call him Brooke?"

"I did but I had to use Lucas's phone since he only answers his calls. He ummm, he's coming here."

"Oh okay...it is his niece."

"Yeah, I was surprised he said that though since the only one he has spoken to in months was Lucas. I didn't think he cared anymore."

"He always will. That's the guy he is. He loves his family but won't admit to it. He hides his feelings from people. But I can always tell."

"You knew him best." Brooke shrugged.

* * *

Lucas walked out of the office once more, four hours later getting another update from the doctors. "How is she?" Haley asked.

"The baby is alive and well. They are taking her for tests and putting her on a breathing tube to help her, but she will be fine...they are still working on Peyton since she hemorrhaged."

"She is going to be okay buddy" Haley said putting a hand to his back.

"Thank you for being here."

"There is nowhere else I would be."

* * *

"Luke" Nathan shouted jogging down the hall way. "I took the first plane out."

"Nate" Lucas said hugging him.

"How is she?"

"The baby is fine but they are still working on Peyton."

"She's gonna make it through this, Peyton Sawyer is bad ass and can do anything. I mean she puts up with you on a daily basis. Something I could never do."

"Shut up" Lucas said with a slight chuckle hitting his brother.

"So it's a girl."

"Yeah...I don't know what her name is though...we didn't pick one out yet, we thought we still had time, I don't know what Peyton will want to name her,"

"You are just going to have to wait until she wakes up then." Nathan said as Lucas nodded. He then saw her. "Hi" His voice suddenly disappeared.

"Hi" She whispered back as her heart clenched. It had been pounded so fast, and then she heard his voice. Something she missed so dearly. She thought she was going to have a heart attack as it began beating faster than before.

Nathan noticed Haley's sweatshirt as she shoved her hands in her pockets noticing his stare "I'm I'm I'm going to go get some coffee anyone want some?"

"Sure"

"Shit I only grabbed my phone and keys when I left" She groaned reaching in her pocket.

"Here" Nathan said pulling out some cash.

"Thanks" She whispered walking off with it.

* * *

"Here Brooke" Haley said nudging the girl who was nearly asleep on Lucas's shoulder, handing her a coffee "This will help you wake up."

"I seriously hate you right now, you're not even tired are you"

"A little bit" She shrugged.

"Your like nocturnal anymore. Peyton told me about your nighttime writing and all."

"I don't sleep very well, or much anymore so why waste time trying to." She said taking a seat between Brooke and Nathan and focusing her eyes on the floor.

* * *

All four of them sat impatiently waiting on news. They had just been told Peyton's surgery was over but were waiting on her condition. "I should call Mia. She...she's gonna wonder what happen when no one shows up at the studio. Peyton and I were going to set up vocals for her new song today."

"Oh, I should call Chase, we were supposed to meet for breakfast." Brooke said pulling out her phone.

"So Chase?" Haley asked looking at her.

"Yeah, we're kind of giving it another try, I mean the only reason we separated before was because of the long distance thing."

"You two were good together." Haley said with an encouraging smile. "Anyway, let me go call her."

* * *

"Any news?" Haley asked returning from her call to see only Nathan there.

"Yeah, they put her in a room, she should be fine they were able to stop the hemorrhaging. But now we need to wait for her to wake up, it could be whenever."

"Okay"

"You changed your hair?"

"I thought it was time for me to move on, a new me."

"And did it work?" He questioned.

She looked away and cleared her throat "So how are the Sonics?"

"It's great, it's been an...amazing experience."

"Everything you ever dreamed of?"

"How about that world tour of yours?" He said avoiding the subject, because his dream had changed, but he didn't want her to know that.

"It was...amazing."

"Guys Peyton woke up" Brooke said running into the waiting room.

I followed her up to Peyton's room and walked in behind her. "Hey foxy" Peyton said groggily.

"Hey there you, I see what you did there, trying to get attention and all." I said sarcastically grabbing her hand.

"Oh yeah that's me."

"Well you had me terrified. I thought I would have to deal with egotistical artists on my own."

"Never. Have you seen my daughter?" Peyton asked with a smile.

"I have not, does she have a name yet?"

"Sawyer" Lucas said smiling while handing her the baby in his arms.

"Sawyer Scott, well hello their Sawyer. I'm your Auntie Haley and I am going to love you so much. Plus I will tell you the most embarrassing stories about your daddy."

"Their all lies Sawyer" Lucas said laughing.

"Nathan" Peyton said seeing him. "You came."

"Of course I did, you scared me. I thought I would have to put up with my bone-head of a brother alone."

Peyton chuckled. "Look at your niece, isn't she beautiful."

"She is, she looks like you thankfully." He said looking over Haley's shoulder at the baby. Haley shifted the baby so she was right in front of him, he moved his finger of her cheeks.

_"She's so sweet when she sleeps" Nathan said rocking Haley's niece Riley in his arms before laying her down in the pack'n play._

_"And she's a devil when she is awake" Haley said stepping in next to him. "Do you ever think about having kids one day?" The high school senior asked._

_"Before I met you, never. But now…all the time. I want us to have a big family one day Hales."_

_"A little boy with your eyes" She said running her hand over his cheek_

_"Nah, a little girl, just like you. So when I look at her all I see is her beautiful mother, and my heart will break because she reminds me so much of you."_

_"I love you" She whispered kissing him._

_"Since we want a big family we should probably get started now." He said with a smirk pulling her out of the room._

* * *

Neither spoke to the other as they sat next to each other outside of Peyton's room. They both decided to give Peyton privacy as the doctors examined her.

"Haley" Brooke said walking down the hall back to her bubbly self.

"Are you heading out?"

"Yeah, Chase and I rearranged everything...unfortunately."

"What's wrong?"

"I just...I'm meeting his family Hales...he isn't like anyone else I've dated. I can see my future with him, and that's never happened to me before. I can't screw this up."

"Just be yourself okay, they will love you." Haley said running her hand on her arm. "it's impossible not to, trust me I know from experience."

"What are you going to be doing today, want to come along?"

"No" Haley chuckled "I should be getting to the studio"

"Weren't you and Chris recording today?"

"We were supposed to, he has a song for me, but I really want to get Mia in the studio, her album is almost done and she has been really inspired lately."

"Hales you can't hid from recording for forever"

"I'm not"

"What was the last song you record huh? It was for you last album."

"How do you know that?"

"Peyton and I talk."

"How about once Peyton is back I will record, I need to have someone in working the controls. And she needs to stop telling you all my secrets. I'm fine."

"Have Chris do it."

"Please, there is no way I'm trusting him with my music. He says it's "better than crap""

"Well that's uplifting."

"He goes on tour in three weeks and I'm counting down the days."

"Aren't we all" Brooke questioned. "That asshole is so nauseating."

"He constantly smells like bad cologne too" She said scrunching her nose. "Here I'll walk out with you. I should be going too. I will stop by later." Haley grabbed her bag and looked at Nathan "It was...good to see you Nathan."

"You too Haley" He said quietly as she walked down the hall with Brooke.

They only made it around the corner when Haley started crying.

"Hales?"

"It hurts Brooke" She said as Brooke hugged her. "It hurts to live without him. It hurts to think about. It hurts to see him. It just always hurts."

"Shhhh, it's okay" Brooke whispered running her hand through her hair. Neither knowing Nathan was listening from the other side of the wall.


	4. Chapter 3

"And he had the nerve to ask me about the tour!" Haley fired as she fixed the controls in the studio.

"He's such an ass." Mia sighed inside the booth with headphones on, listening to what Haley said.

_"You're such an ass." Haley sighed walking through their apartment throwing his dirty clothes in the laundry basket._

_"You love my ass!" He fired back smirking._

_"Nope!" She said looking away, straightening his drawer "What did you do? I left you alone for an hour and you shoved all my nice neat folded clothes in their drawer. It's a pig sty."_

_"You have too many clothes, they don't fit!" He said moving behind her._

_"If you put them in nicely they do." She said feeling him pressed against her as she tried to work._

_"You're avoiding the subject Hales, you know you love my ass." He smirked once more and kissed her neck. _

_"No I don't!" She said before finally looking up at him and into his eyes through the vanity mirror._

_"Just admit it." He said, his blue eyes piercing into hers._

_"Never" She whispered drawn in, before turning around and kissing him._

"Hales, Haley?" Mia questioned

"Oh sorry, what did you say?"

"I was asking when Peyton is going to be released"

"Oh, a few days I think."

"Good"

"You ready?"

"Yeah"

* * *

"You did great today Mia" Haley said as she locked the office door and they walked further into Tric.

"Thanks, are you going back to the hospital now?"

"I think I'm going to grab a drink first...take off the edge."

Mia nodded. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. You're in the studio not me."

"Well see" She sighed.

Haley moved around the counter and noticing, of course, the only empty seat was next to Nathan. She sighed and sat down.

"The usual Hales?" Grubbs asked moving in front of her.

"Make it a double." She said running her hand through her hair.

"Kay" He said moving around, he popped the cap off a beer and placed it in front of her before laying out two shot glasses and filling them.

"A beer?"

"You look like you could use it. How's egotistical maniac?"

"Almost gone."

"Good" He nodded. "He try anything else on you..."

"No, and thanks again" She said talking about the time a drunk Chris tried to kiss her.

"How's Mia?"

"We finished the vocals on her new song today...you should stop by tomorrow Miranda is coming in to check on the progress for my follow up record"

He smirked and laughed "How is that by the way?"

"No going at all." She sighed downing one shot after the other before shaking her head slightly. "But I will talk her into giving me another extension."

"You always do."

"I know, I can be very persuasive."

"We all know" Nathan laughed.

"What does that mean?" Haley asked looking at him.

"Don't you remember the time you persuaded me to go to Sheryl Crow concert...never again."

"Shut up! She is amazing!"

"If you say so, I'll take a shot of the strongest whiskey you have" Nathan said to Grubbs

"Drinking away your problems?" Nathan gave her a look before staring ahead "I guess it's better than running from them."

Nathan ignored the comment and shook his head slightly.

"What you have nothing to say?"

"It seems that we both have a different recollection of that night." Nathan said downing the shot Grubbs put in front of him.

"Whatever, I'm leaving" She said finishing her beer. "Just put it on my tab Grubbs."

Nathan quickly threw some money on the counter and followed after her "You can't drive home now."

"That's why I'm walking."

"Alone at this time of night" He worried.

"I will be fine. I do it all the time."

"No way am I letting you do that." Nathan said following on her heals.

"Just leave me alone"

"Fine you don't want me to walk with you, I'll just walk behind you, theirs nothing you can do about it."

Haley sighed and walked faster as Nathan did the same, ten yards behind her. Walking three blocks before turning around and huffing Haley said "Fine, walk with me so someone doesn't call the cops on you thinking you're a rapist."

"Thank You" He said quietly moving to be next to her as she started walking once more.

"Why do you even care?" She muttered under her breath expecting him not to hear.

"I will always care Hales...don't ever forget that."

"So uh...how is Seattle?" Haley asked avoiding what would be an awkward silence.

"It rains a lot" Nathan said knowingly. Every time it rained he couldn't help but think of her…well frankly he never stopped thinking about her but the rain made it more clear.

"What about the people?" She asked clearing her throat.

"I don't really know, the only people I talk to are those on the team and my agent…what about the tour, how was that?"

"It was fine…I'm going to start recording another album soon."

"That sounds great…By the way, I like your hair cut"

"Thanks so do I."

"It makes you look more mature, more grown up…like a 24 year old should."

"Thanks I guess"

"No it's a complement. You've done a lot of growing up over the past year or so and it's fitting. You look…it looks more natural than the blonde did, more like you did when we were in high school not college."

"Yeah it's just a few shades darker…when I changed it I was originally going to let it grow out to my natural color but now…I think I want to add some auburn highlights" She said taking a step onto the porch of her house.

"It would bring out your eyes" Nathan said looking at her as she turned to face him at the same time. Their eyes locked and they both leaned in to kiss the other. Nathan ran his hand along Haley's cheek and Haley ran her hand through Nathan's hair keeping him close to her. Nathan's free hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him. He held her to him for as long as possible before resting his forehead against hers as it started to rain around them. He smiled slightly, an image which mirrored hers. "I've missed you"

"So much" She completed for him before kissing him again and muttering "Let's go inside" against his lips.

"Wait" He said slowly, keeping her waist against his with his arm. "I just…I love you Haley, I'm still in love with you."

Haley leaned in and kissed him once more, as they both forgot about their problems and made out in the rain.


	5. Chapter 4

Haley rolled over in bed holding the sheets tightly to her as her hand reached out and felt the empty bed. All of the night befores occurrences came back to her. She sighed, in confusion, wondering where they stood. She looked over at the clock and realized she had gotten 9 hours of sleep, the most she had gotten in months.

Rolling over she got out of bed and grabbed the sweatshirt she had sitting on her lounge chair by the window. She noticed the storm outside and slipped the sweatshirt on, appreciating the warmth it brought her.

Wandering out into the hallway she heard footsteps coming from the other end. Walking that way she found Nathan in a room.

"This your music room?" He asked.

"Obviously." She smirked nodding towards the piano, guitar, and the chair she would play on along with piles of sheet music, stacks of notebooks she would write her songs in, and books galore on music, the history of it, and famous composers.

"You always dreamed of one of these" Nathan said running his hand along the piano.

"The piano or the room?" She asked taking a seat in the chair and crossing her legs under her.

"All of it…the house…the room…your dream…it's amazing Hales. Your house is stunning, you've wanted one like this your entire life…and I couldn't give it to you. Any of it." Haley knew it wasn't just the house he was talking about.

"Maybe, maybe not…but you gave me something else. Unconditional love and support…at least I thought you did."

"I can't…I just…I have to go." He stuttered shaking his head knowing he shouldn't be there.

"Sure, walk out on me again." Haley said sarcastically.

He stopped knowing he shouldn't leave. Although…a part of him was saying he should.

"We should talk Haley." He said trying to do the right thing.

"Their's nothing to talk about Nathan." She said crossing her hands over her chest.

"I think there is."

"You left, you made your decision and now you have to deal with it."

"Don't put this all on me, you said things that night, I wasn't the only one."

"Well you put it all on me that night, said it was all me, but you left in the end. You left me."

"You were going to leave me."

"But I offered for you to come with me, you didn't" She fired.

"I never said I wouldn't go with you I said I couldn't'"

"You put basketball above me!"

"You put music above me!"

"You…you stole my book!" She fired, it being the only thing she could think of on the spot.

_Nathan sighed placing a cup in the sink, knowing he should clean up the house before Haley got home or she would be angry._

_"Nathan!" She shouted walking into the house. Could she sense that the house was dirty?_

_"Where are you Nathan?!" She shouted, he picked up the tone of excitement in her voice and realized he wasn't in trouble. _

_"Kitchen" He called out as she bounced in._

_"I'm going on tour!" _

_"What?" He asked._

_"Miranda called and they want me to go on tour, it's worldwide! How amazing is that, it starts in three weeks! Let's do it."_

_"What do you mean "let's"?"_

_"I mean you would come with me…I can't be without you for seven months."_

_"Seven months!" He yelled as she jumped back. "Haley what about the NBA, the draft is in two weeks._

_"But Nathan, it's world wide" She said in her cloud nine haze._

_"This is my shot Hales, Clay said he is 99 percent sure that I'm going tenth pick to the Sonics, and then theirs a good chance I get traded after that."_

_"But…this could be it Nathan…I have one shot to do this tour and make it big, if I decline it they won't give me another."_

_"This is my last shot Hales, I can't pass this up now. I can't sit out for a year. I gave up everything for you to go on tour the first time. And now you want me to give this up. My shot. To go on tour with you. When are you ever going to do something for me?"_

_"When am I ever going to do anything for you? Who went to Duke with you, giving up her dream to go to Stanford? Who stood by you when your dad was constantly harassing me to leave you? Who stood by you when you underwent a point shaving scandal? Who stood by you when you got into an accident and had to rehab you knee and was a cold hearted bitch to everyone? Who was by your side the entire time waiting on your HCM results? Huh Nathan ME, so don't say I didn't support you!"_

_"Don't pull the Stanford card, that was your choice, you told me you wanted to even when I insisted we go to Stanford. You refused. And sorry for being a weight around your neck!" He called out slamming the plate in his hand on the counter as it shattered to pieces. "Who's being the cold hearted bitch now bitch?" He called out, instantly regretting it as the words left his mouth. "Hales" He whispered quietly. "I…I"_

_"Don't" She said sticking a hand out between them, tears threatening to fall. "If that's how you feel then I don't want to be a weight around your neck. I….have fun in Seattle Nathan…I will be by at one tomorrow to pick up my things…please don't be here."_

_Nathan watched diligently as if she we in slow motion as she grabbed her purse, that she had dropped on the floor in excitement, and walked out. The love of the life walked out on him, and it was all his fault. He went over the edge. He took things too far. It was all his fault. He should have gone on tour with her, because it meant being able to be with her. That was all that mattered. He was selfish and frankly, thinking it over now he would have done anything for her. _

_There was no going back now. She would never forgive him for what he said. That was it. It was over. As he cried, for the first time in who knows how long he began to pack up his things. He rolled his luggage towards the door and looked back, all evidence of his existence gone from the apartment for her. This way she could move on without his sorry ass in her life. He looked back at her book sitting on the coffee table. There was always one on the table and a different one at their bedside table. The one on the coffee table would be read when he watched a basketball game. He would sit with his feet on the table watching the game with her feet on his lap. She would lay the opposite direction and read as he rubbed her feet. He walked over to the book and picked it up. Remembering. Slowly he put the book in his luggage. His last remnants of her._

_There was no going back now as he walked out of the house._

* * *

_Haley slowly climbed the stairs leading to their house, secretly hoping he was there, she was at the house ten minutes early hoping to catch him. So they could fix things. They both said things that neither meant. She knew it was just in the heat of the moment. Haley sighed and opened the door, shocked at what she found. It was as if he never lived there. All evidence of him was gone. She looked throughout the entire house. Searching for evidence. Was he just a pigment of her imagination? Did she make him up? Was she crazy? But no the photos of them were still on the fridge, and the broken plate was still on the floor. Through her search the only thing she found was a Duke sweatshirt of his buried in the bottom of the laundry basket…it still smelt like him. She fell apart on their bed clutching the sweatshirt._

"You left. If you would have stayed we could have worked it out!" She said angrily waving her hands in the air

"There was no going back after what we said…I had my one shot in the NBA and you wouldn't hear of it because of a tour…you toured before, you felt that rush of singing in front of crowds of people, the adrenaline. I just wanted to feel that…I wanted to feel the rush of adrenaline I feel each time I walk onto the court of a home game and people just applaud and cheer. Maybe what I said was out of line but you knew deep in your heart I didn't think you were a cold hearted bitch. I told you I loved you every day, multiple times a day. I confided in you with things I wouldn't tell others. I planned to marry you, I planned to have children with you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…but you put yourself above me." He said as he saw the tears once again brimming in her eyes. It wasn't his fault though, he stated the truth and had nothing left to say so he walked out once more. This time his heart much lighter than before.


	6. Chapter 5

Thanks so much for all the reviews guys, this is the last chapter unless you want me to continue it, so enjoy!

Songs I used in this chapter were:

I Almost Do-Taylor Swift

Maybe- Everly

Wake Up (Lily)- Wakey!Wakey!

Crazy Girls- Bethany Joy Lenz

* * *

"Hey" Haley said walking into Peyton's house days later her eyes still red and with dark eye bags under them.

"Hey Hales"

"How are you guys?"

"Good, Sawyer just went down for a nap."

"Why did you call, I thought I was going to watch her while you took a break"

"I lied" She said biting her lip "I actually wanted to talk to you…I talked to Nathan the other day."

"Oh"

"It's not what you think…he told me what happened but then he also opened up to me…and I might of recorded it without his knowledge."

"Peyton I don't want to…" She objected quickly shaking her head.

"I think you do" She said pulling out her phone and playing it.

_"Sorry Nate, I just need to write down that Sawyer ate. We need to track it cause she was a preemie" Peyton lied starting the app. "Now what were you saying."_

_"I just…I miss her Peyton…and I need to tell someone. She was the one I would always open up to and I lost that. I can't talk to Luke about it, he will just intervene. I just need to vent."_

_"Well go ahead"_

_"I loved her…with my whole heart. I had never known love until I met her…she made my life better…and then it was all gone. When I walked out that door I thought I was doing what was best for her. She wouldn't have to deal with my dumb ass anymore. It hurt so bad and I thought I was doing what would help her. But it hurt her more. She can't write, she can't sleep, she is a mess…just like me. It's all my fault. I miss her Peyton. I love her…so much. And I just screwed things up again. That night, I didn't mean any of it. I messed up and was angry with her. But I would give up basketball in a second for her. It means nothing without her. None of it does. I can barely live without her. She is…everything."_

Peyton stopped the recording and looked up at Haley. "I know you feel the same Hales…so the question is what are you going to do about it?"

"It's all my fault" Haley whispered. Haley quickly got on her phone and wrote something. "Check your twitter…and get him there." She said before getting up and leaving, needing to plan quickly.

Peyton opened up her phone and read the tweet 'My first concert since the tour tonight at Tric, be there for some new songs!'

* * *

"You lucky, you look just like your uncle Nathan" Nathan said looking down at the baby in his arms. "She has my eyes"

Peyton chuckled as they walked through the studio doors. "Luke has blue eyes too you know"

"Yeah, but she looks like me, can't you see it?" He asked as she dropped her bag onto her seat.

"Sure" Peyton said while rolling her eyes "While you have her I'm going to go to the bathroom, if you need to go Mia and Hales are in there" She said with a point.

He nodded, Peyton quickly left the room and he wandered to the door, rubbing his hand over Sawyer's back whose head was resting on his shoulder. He could hear Mia through the shut door. "Alright let's try again, this is the first time you've recorded in a while Hales, it's going to take some time."

"Okay...play track" She called out and he quietly opened the door to see Mia pressing a bunch of buttons and Haley adjusting the headphones over her ears.

_I bet this time of night you're still up_  
_I bet you're tired from a long, hard week_  
_I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window, looking out at the city_  
_And I bet sometimes you wonder about me_

_And I just want to tell you_  
_It takes everything in me not to call you_  
_And I wish I could run to you_  
_And I hope you know that_  
_Everytime I don't,_  
_I almost do, I almost do_

Haley stopped abruptly when Sawyer let out a loud scream.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay" Nathan said trying to soothe her as he lightly bounced her. Haley walked out of the recording room. "Peyt said for me to drop her off with you guys while she went to the bathroom, I have to get going." He said loudly over Sawyer's cries. "You are better with kids than me" He quickly handed the baby to Haley.

"Hi sweet girl, your okay" She said rocking Sawyer who quickly quieted.

"See" He pointed out as she smiled lightly. "Anyway I should be going, are you guys okay with her?" Mia and Haley nodded before he quickly walked out.

* * *

Haley took the stage that night and grabbed the microphone. "As many of you know I haven't performed in a while...I took a break after I got back from the tour. It was for many reasons, Peyton was pregnant, I needed to help with Mia's album, and well I put my friends first and prioritized. But anyway I actually just wrote this song this morning so we'll see how it goes."

Haley took a deep breath and sang "Maybe I was..." before clearing her throat "Sorry, wrong key, let's try that again...Maybe I was wrong" She sang once more and smiled before continuing.

_Maybe I was looking in all the wrong places._

_Maybe I was wrong,_

_Maybe I was searching in all the wrong places._

_If I knew that you would come in for me,_

_I would stay in one place._

_If I knew that you would come in for me,_

_I would have made my piece._

_Maybe I was wrong,_

_Maybe I was dreamless and full of suffering._

_Maybe I was wrong,_

_Every time you said you love me,_

_I went on and on my own._

_But I can see it now,_

_I'm coming home._

_I can see it now,_

_I'm coming home._

_Maybe I was wrong,_

_Maybe I was looking in all the wrong faces._

_Maybe I was wrong,_

_Maybe I was searching in all the wrong places._

_If I knew that you would come in for me,_

_I would stay in one place._

_If I knew that you would come in for me,_

_I would have made my piece._

_But I can see it now,_

_I'm coming home._

_I can see it now,_

_I'm coming home._

"Thank you" She said running her hand through her hair when she finished "As you can see I'm a little rusty still. Now this one...isn't complete but would you like a teaser of a new song?" She asked as the screamed "Okay, I'll take that as a yes." She sat down at the piano and started playing the distinctive chords.

_Maybe it's you and maybe it's me trying to be everything I think you need._

_Maybe you love me, maybe you don't_

_Maybe I'm scared of waking up alone_

_If you think you're gonna leave then you better say so_

_But I really really hope you don't make me wake up without you_

_Don't make me wake up without you_

_Don't make me wake up without you_

_Don't make me wake up without you_

"That's it for now...but I have one more song. I wrote it...a few months ago I guess. Hope you like it."

_I've been behind on the events of the past 7 days_

_I've been sleeping in my bed_

_And missing you like sometimes crazy girls do_

_I've been hanging like a child onto this photograph of us_

_It was taken on a bus across town the last time I saw you_

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down, down_

_Well I can't get my self together_

_I'm soaking in the pain_

_It's ridiculous how easy it is to go astray_

_When my focus ain't right_

_Sometimes crazy's all right_

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down, oh_

_Oh, will you wait till I get back home again_

_'Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes crazy's all right_

_Well I never thought I'd say I was in love with you again_

_It's funny how my life has come around to this_

_And I'm crazy for you_

_I do like crazy girls do_

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down…_

_Oh, will you wait till I get back home again_

_'Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes crazy's all right, crazy's all right_

_Oh, will you wait till I get back home again_

_'Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes_

_Oh, will you wait till I get back home again_

_'Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes crazy's all right_

"Thank you guys for coming out…I hope to see you again soon with some more new music!" Haley said before running off the stage. She was trying to get to her dressing room as quick as possible before breaking down in front of all these people. She was halted when she ran into something, looking up she saw it was Nathan.

"Nathan"

"Hi Hales" He whispered.

"I'm sorry…I'm so so sorry, everything you said was right. I was selfish and forgot about your dreams…please I can't life without you." She said burying herself in his arms.

He ran his hand through her hair, resting his chin on the top of her head saying a silent prayer that he had another chance. "It wasn't all your fault. I took things out of line, we could have worked something out but I flipped out right away. I left first, not you. I shouldn't have left and I'm sorry I did."

Haley looked up to him with tears in her eyes. "I guess we both made mistakes huh?"

"Yeah…but we could start over, and leave that behind us. We both made mistakes but we could forgive each other and move on."

"That sounds perfect." She whispered leaning up to kiss him. "I love you so much Nathan."

"Always and Forever" He whispered back to her before kissing her once more. "Now I was thinking, since neither of us really sleep anymore we could try not sleeping together."

Haley noticed his smirk and lightly hit him, then reality set in. "But…what are we going to do about the Sonics?" She asked.

"You couldn't give us one nice minute now could you" He joked as she laughed. "Well figure it out. Don't worry about it."

"What do you have up your sleeve?" She asked kinking her eyebrow.

"Clay might have called me earlier and said that the Bobcats might be interested in trading me for another player."

"You might play in Charlotte?" She asked her eyes going wide.

"And we can tour in the off season."

"I don't know" Haley said as Nathan looked at her questionably. "That's in eight months, who knows what we will be doing then. Maybe I will be planning a wedding…maybe I will be pregnant. If you want a big family we have to get started soon."

"How about right now?" He said kinking an eyebrow as he laughed.

"How about we talk first, we can go home pop open a bottle of wine and catch up on the last year…then maybe we can start on baby making."

"If you change wine to beer then I am all in."

"Sure" She said leaning up and kissing him tenderly, then he started laughing. "What are you laughing for?"

He smiled and chuckled "I stole your book. Out of everything that I could have taken from our house it was your book."

"What did you do with this book?" She asked.

"I took it everywhere with me, away games and all. I read it fifteen times."

"I'm glad it went to good use."

"In a way it's kinda like us…they separated but that didn't change their feelings for one another. And when they met again they could help but fall in love with one another once more."

"I hope we die at the same time like Allie and Noah did, because I never want to live without you again." Haley whispered against his lips.

"Believe me, I'm never letting you go again." He said taking her hand in his and kissing her cheek.


End file.
